Dream Killers #4: Stress
on Feb 28 in Everyday Life, Faith, Leadership, TMIIf you’ve been following my journey over the past couple of weeks, you know that I’ve been living into this profound statement of truth…
Our deepest fears stand in stark contrast to our wildest dreams.
Pounding headaches and insomnia have accompanied me most of February. And I’ve done what most guys do. Nothing. So without my request, my wife called our family doctor, and scheduled an appointment for me. At 4:30 on Friday afternoon, I sat with our amazing family doctor, who is also a mature Christian man.
By the end of our time together, I wasn’t sure if I should pay him a medical fee, or a counseling fee.
In short, he told me that all my symptoms are caused by stress.
After a good amount of talking it through, I walked away with a potentially life-altering truth to implement in my own life as a leader. Maybe yours too.
I CAN’T OWN WHAT I CAN’T OWN
There are things in my life that only I can own. Example include: The direction of my life. The direction of the company I’m a part of. The books I read. The stuff I watch on cable. The amount of time I spend socially networked. Creating time and space to clearly hear His voice. Creating time and space to clearly hear her voice. Bitterness. Anger. Resentment. Joy. The mood I bring to the environments I sit in. These are all mine to own.
But there are also things I can NOT own. I mean literally – I don’t have the God-power to own them. Recessions. Success. Other people’s personal and spiritual growth. The spending habits of churches and non-profits.
That’s a pretty good list. But here’s the one thing I really need to say. Out loud, thrown into the air.
I cannot own whether or not my partners and I get a paycheck two times every month.
I will work hard, and wise, and diligently. I will stay connected to the Vine. I will subscribe to the most spiritually mature RSS feeds I can find. I will keep the crappy stuff out, and let the good stuff in. I will listen to the right Podcasts. I will love beauty. I will create art from pain. I will craft a date with my wife every Friday night. I will be fully present to/with my daughters.
But if, after all of that focused attention, the owners of Floodgate still can’t pay ourselves, I simply need to mourn a bit, smile a bit, and know that God knows our financial needs better than we do.
Really. I’m not just spouting some “God is in control” crap. God really is in control. And as a part of His control, He gives me control of some things.
But He doesn’t ever give me control of the results.
Not me.
So my confession is hard to admit, and I never thought I’d be saying it…
I have left the land of dreaming, and crossed over into the land of fearing. And if I plant myself in that land, I end up in a very unhealthy place.
Funny thing – My heart already knew what my body has been expressing.
I stand in that land. Now.
But the roots haven’t grown deep. I’m not planted firmly there.
And the walk back across the border won’t be easy.
Welcome to my current life. Hitting “publish” wasn’t easy on this one.
3 Comments
Trackbacks and Pingbacks
Leave a Comment
Connect
-
Worth the Click
Philippians 4:12 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through Him who gives me strength"NIV. I can hope someday to be like Paul and make this statement roll off my lips but I still stand amazed at how often I have lived this scripture and been privileged to share my own situation with those in tough times beyond my comprhension. I know God is extensively in control when it comes to Floodgate and all lives connected with it. There is a confidence I feel in the growth and changes I have been blessed to watch in your life and my son's life. You are a committed man of God, willing to stand and admit challenge or success and growth from each. Manna comes enough for each day. You all have my prayers and support since we are all in the boat together and I don't believe there are any leaks…R
Matthew 6:25-27
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
This verse helped me when I started getting "Panic Attacks" at the age of 42. My stress was also situational as my father was dying and he was not a Christian. On his death bed he accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior.
Since then I have taken control of my thoughts and emotions and have not had a panic attack in over 3 years.
Your mind is a very important organ that need nurturing. So what goes in is what comes out, AKA- Crap in-Crap out. This is Satan's portal to our soul so we need to protect the gatekeeper with Christ in our mind, heart and soul!
The Floodgate Team was sitting in a staff meeting, talking about money. It wasn't going well. I looked at my IPhone, and saw that someone had made this comment on my blog. It was you – my childhood friend who I've recently connected with on Facebook. I read your entire post out loud to everyone at the table (6 of us total). It's exactly what we needed to hear, at the exact right time. Thank you SO MUCH for posting. And thanks for your honesty and vulnerability – a rare thing in many Christian circles.