Are You Gonna Be Okay?

on Oct 06 in Everyday Life, Leadership, TMI

The alarm was set for 6:15am.¬† I was awake at 5:15am.¬† I’m not a morning person.¬† Ever.¬† But this morning, I was lying awake.

Worry.

Anxiety.

Planning.

Deadlines.

My eyes were too heavy to keep them open, but my mind was too riddled to go back to sleep.

So I began peeling away the layers of the Thing that was overtaking my heart.  And when I got to the core of what was present in me, I was a bit surprised.  I thought it would be the Devil, or a creative idea, or a stupid idea, or a concern about some relationship gone sour.  I found none of that.

At the core of my inability to sleep was, of all things, a question.  A haunting question.  A question that drives me. And I bet it drives you too.

The question echoes still now in my heart:  Am I gonna be okay?

This question drives everything else I put my hand to.  And I have learned to craft a lifestyle as an affirmative answer to this question.

If I don’t go into the office today and create something the Church loves, will this company survive financially, and will I be okay?

If something terrible happens in El Salvador (a clean water dig I’m participating in Oct. 17-24), will I be okay?

If one of my children ends up on the other side of the spiritual spectrum, will I be okay?

Here’s the funny thing about this question:¬† Jesus never asked it.¬† Why in the world would Jesus ever need to ask an absurd question like this?¬† His relationship with His Father was so trusting that, He always knew He’d be okay – even on a cross.

If Jesus set His alarm clock for 6:15am, and He woke up at 5:15am with some huge question on His heart – a question that would motivate Him to act during the coming day – I think that question would not be “Am I gonna be okay?”¬† I think Jesus’ question would be…

Is the world gonna be okay?

Yes.¬† That’s most definitely the question that seemed to haunt Jesus as He walked and talked with those who chose to follow Him.

I wonder what kinds of things we would all be compelled to do today if our primary question changed from “Am I gonna be okay?” to “Is the world gonna be okay?”.

One thing’s for sure:¬† I’d stop using the word “I” so much.