Christian Cuss Words and Jack Bauer

on Jun 03 in Everyday Life, TMI

You know that feeling of ongoing frustration you get, but you can’t put your finger on it?

Let me re-phrase that…

I get a feeling of ongoing frustration, but I can’t always put my finger on it.

Call it a bad mood.¬† I usually tell my close friends that “I’m just feeling pissy.”¬† I feel like that word is a Christian cuss word.¬† I also feel better when I admit¬† how I’m feeling, using that specific word.

Don’t judge.¬† You have your own Christian cuss words, and we both know it.

So tonight, I’m sitting here, feeling pissy.¬† I’ve actually felt that way every night for two weeks.¬† Work is great.¬† Relationships are great.¬† My wife and I are clicking on all cylinders.¬† But from 7:00pm until I go to sleep, I feel pissy.

And I think I finally realized why I’m feeling this way.¬† For the past four months, I have looked forward to one specific TV program on Monday night, Tuesday night, and Wednesday night.

Monday night was 24.

Tuesday night was Fringe.

Wednesday night was Criminal Minds.

I don’t idolize these programs.¬† I’m not addicted.¬† I simply enjoy them, and I really, really look forward to sitting on the couch, pouring myself a half diet/half regular Pepsi, and just tossing myself into the storyline.¬† There is immense therapy there, to be sure.

Two weeks ago, all three of these series went into deep summer hibernation.¬† And it’s taken me two weeks to realize that I really miss not having those 9:00pm shows to look forward to.

In my younger days, I would have condemned myself for not being more Christian.¬† I would have told you that God was weaning me from my dependence on the inherent evils of television.¬† And I would have quoted that verse in Proverbs that talks about “a sluggard”.

But today, I would simply say this:¬† Change is loss.¬† Anytime we experience any change in our lives, there is a loss in our hearts.¬† It’s not simply a change that we just need to “get over”, or “work through”. ¬† It’s a change that makes our hearts say, “Ouch.¬† Someone just took something from me.”

I am, in no way, suggesting that my “loss” of three television shows is anywhere near the loss you’ve experienced in your own life.¬† But it’s something.

And simply stating it, and admitting it, and (yes) even lamenting it are all good things.

Pathetic.

Embarrassing.

True.

But I’m not feeling pissy anymore.