Givers and Takers

on Mar 08 in Everyday Life, Leadership

My friend, Kathy, regularly makes the claim that there are two types of people in the world. There are Givers. And there are Takers. The more people I meet, the more I realize that Kathy is very, very correct.

But with one addition.

There are Givers. And there are Takers. And (my addition) everyone thinks they’re a Giver.

99% of the population are Takers until they’re reach their early 20′s. Then, everyone I’ve ever met comes to a crossroads in their life. At this crossroads, some realize that life doesn’t work with them in the center.¬† And so they change from Taker to Giver.¬† Others realize that they have to do everything in their power to keep themselves at the center of their own universe.¬† And so they remain Takers.

Givers and Takers. One or the other.

And the real problem is that everyone believes they’re a Giver.¬†¬† Christians can be so incredibly self-deceiving.¬† My observation is Christian leaders are often at the top of the list.

I know, because I am one.

Five years ago, when I was still a Creative Arts Pastor,  I asked three people who knew me best to go to lunch with me.  I asked them a few questions, and begged them to answer me with 100% honesty.

* As your pastor, do my actions reveal that I’m here to help equip you to fulfill God’s dreams for you?¬† Or¬† do my actions reveal that I’m here to get you to help me fulfill my vision?

* Do I initiate care in your life only when you’re volunteering for me?¬† Or do I initiate care in your life, period?

* If I ever quit, do you think our relationship would go away?

Their answers were open, and very honest.¬† I had to make big changes.¬† I had become a selfish leader, who would only become a part of people’s lives if they could potentially benefit me.

I had become a Taker.

I wish every Christian reading this would have that lunch with their friends.   Who would you invite?  What would you ask?  It takes courage, and a willingness to look hard into the mirror.

But it’s worth it.¬† Because every person who is changing their world for the better just happens to be a Giver.